Last week my snug rug plan of what I was going to do for the next few years was subtly but firmly pulled out from underneath me. I freaked out a little, and am now making new plans to replace said plan. Here are my tips and I'd love to hear yours.
You're disappointed of course. Feel bad about it. Feel like you'll never get anything again and that your life is a failure. Mope about the house in pajamas for a day or drink a bottle of wine with friends and bitch about how unfair it is. Then get over it. Mourn it, grieve, do whatever you need, but I would say 24 hours is the most you're allowed, because really, who needs to waste one more day thinking about what didn't go right? The best plans are waiting for you.
Okay, so you didn't get the job/top school/marriage you thought you were going to, what is the worst thing that'll happen? I mean it, think about the absolutely worst possible situation that could come out of this; chances are it's not as bad as that feeling of dread you've been carrying around. Take some deep breaths, try meditating or put a little grit and glamour in your life. Relax. You're going to be better than fine.
Don't dwell on why you didn't get said plan. Instead be pro-ative about new plans. Make lists of things you've always wanted to do, but couldn't because of your plan that is now moot. What can you do now? What will you do now?
It sounds cheesy, but every lost opportunity will only bring you more. If you're too afraid to go out for anything, sure you'll never lose again, but you'll never win.
Work it Out
Once you've got a new plan of action, act on it. Put your energies into this new way of life you're leading. After my first year of college, I wanted to transfer to a different school. Said school did not accept me, so instead I spent a semester volunteering in Africa. I would not be the same person for the better, if I had gotten into that school and continued college as planned. I know there has been more than one time where my alternate plan ended up being better than my first choice.
Lastly, I might be scattered here for a bit again. In the next two weeks my life is going to change drastically and I'm not sure how much time I'll be able to devote. If anyone wants to babysit or write some words here, send 'em my way. I'd love to have you on board the SS Fish nor Fowl.